


Ignite

by WriteMyAnchor



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 13:57:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8016700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriteMyAnchor/pseuds/WriteMyAnchor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Emma craved was that toe-curling, Earth-shattering, all-consuming passion. What she didn't expect was to find it with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

She was three shots in already. Or was it four? Honestly, Emma had lost count after the last round Ruby and Mary-Margaret had ordered. She craved the burn as the alcohol made its way down her throat, settling warm in her stomach.

"I needed this," Emma said, taking a sip of her beer as a chaser.

Ruby nodded, sucking on a lime and making a face. "Me too. Work's been a bitch this week."

Mary-Margaret shook her head. "Tell me about it," she agreed, taking a giant gulp of her drink.

"Honestly, how you manage to tolerate first graders all day, I'll never know," Ruby told her.

Mary-Margaret shrugged. "What can I say? It has its hard days, but I love it."

Ruby smiled, turning to Emma. "How 'bout you, Em? Any big cases this week?"

"Nope," Emma said. "Just finished the Monroe job so I'll probably take a week off."

As a private investigator, Emma rarely had time off. But this last case had taken up an exuberant amount of time and she was due for a break.

"Have you seen Walsh?" Ruby asked, smiling knowingly.

"Ugh, do not get me started on Walsh," she groaned.

"What's wrong?" Mary-Margaret asked.

And because they were her best friends, Emma didn't hold back. She told them what a nice guy Walsh was—super sweet with a good head on his shoulders. But there was one thing she wanted, one part of their relationship that lacked the excitement she so desperately craved.

Plainly said, Emma wanted a man who would just take her and not apologize. She wanted an aggressive sexual partner, someone who could even take the reigns every now and then, allow her let go and forget about everything except the pleasure only he could bring. Let her shut off her mind while he played her body like a song only he knew the notes to.

It had been a while since Emma dated anyone for a long period of time. Most of her romantic encounters were just tedious dates with boring men or the occasional lackluster one night stand. She thought Walsh might finally be the one to put some fire in her love life, but unfortunately that didn't look to be the case.

"So, no sparks?" Ruby asked when Emma was finished talking.

"Sparks," Emma scoffed. "What are these sparks you guys are always going on about?"

"You know. Sparks," Mary-Margaret said unhelpfully. At Emma's sour look, she added, "When you're with the right person, it just feels...electric somehow. Every nerve in your body is lit on fire, you're like on high alert. Just the most innocent touch brings...sparks." She shrugged, taking a small sip of her drink while Ruby and Emma looked at her with gaping mouths.

"Wow...that sounds...nice," Emma said lamely, looking down at her half-empty glass of beer.

"Is that how you feel with David?" Ruby asked with a wide smile.

"What about David?" a deep voice asked.

The girls turned their attention to David Nolan, Mary-Margaret's fiancée, as he placed his arm around her shoulders and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. Emma smiled warmly at the two.

"Our ears were burning," another voice joined in, his smooth English accent unmistakable. "Talking about us, ladies?"

Emma looked on as Killian Jones joined the party, taking the empty seat between her and Ruby. He looked attractive as always—leather jacket, tight jeans, and dark scruff on his face.

"We were discussing Emma's pathetic love-life," Ruby said easily.

Emma smacked her arm. "Thanks."

"What's the matter, Swan?" Killian asked. "Walsh not doing it for you?"

David chuckled as he took the seat beside his fiancée and ordered another round of drinks for the table.

"I'll have you know," Emma said defensively, "Walsh is a perfectly decent guy with a good heart."

Killian smirked. "But...?"

Emma rolled her eyes. Why did her friends have to know her so damn well?

"There's just...nothing there," she finally admitted. "Is it so much to want a man who will just...throw you down and have his way with you? I mean, be rough, I'm not made of glass!" She huffed and took a rather large drink of her beer while the tips of David's ears reddened and Mary-Margaret buried her laugh in his shoulder.

Killian hummed in response. "Well, I'd say there aren't many men who could handle a woman like you, Swan," he said, his voice slightly lower than usual.

Emma looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Tell me about it."

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Emma and Walsh went out that weekend. They had missionary sex in his bedroom and afterward he made her a cup of tea.

The next Tuesday they went for a movie and she tried to heat things up in the car in the parking lot afterwards, but he'd played the gentleman card and took her back to his bed. Where they had sex—her on top. She tried giving him hints to spice things up, maybe for him to take more control, but it didn't happen.

For days and days all Emma could think about was that stupid spark Mary-Margaret had gone on about. She wanted that. She wanted so much more than that and she was devastated when she realized she'd never really had it before. Almost thirty and she had yet to meet a man who could just light her up.

Maybe she was asking for too much.

Regardless, she couldn't do it anymore. And that's why two weeks later, when she and Walsh were at a nice restaurant sharing a small dessert between the two of them, she finally made her decision.

"Walsh," she started, setting her fork down. "You know, these last couple of months have been...good."

Walsh smiled at her. "For me too, Em."

She nodded, trying to stay upbeat. "You're just...such a great guy and...any girl would be lucky to date you."

"Ah," he said, swallowing the bite in his mouth and setting his fork down. "I see where this is going." He sat back and sighed.

Emma's smile turned apologetic. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just...not as invested in this as I should be...as you deserve me to be, and...I think it's best if we call it off."

Walsh nodded, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Well, I can't say I'm not disappointed. You're a catch, Em."

She smiled sadly.

When the bill came, he picked it up despite her protests. In the parking lot it was a little awkward saying 'goodbye.' But on the cab ride home, Emma could feel she'd made the right decision.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Another Friday night, another round of shots at their usual bar. After hearing of Emma's break-up earlier that week, Mary-Margaret and Ruby made it their mission to get her wasted. David had complained a little, saying Walsh had been "a pretty cool guy," but that was the extent of that. Tonight she was going to forget all the shit and just enjoy.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Emma asked David, giggling as she felt the warm buzz of the alcohol hit her senses.

David rolled his eyes as the girls all had a good laugh. "Jones said he had some paperwork to finish. He might join us later."

"Should Mary-Margaret be concerned about your relationship with Killian?" Ruby asked, maintaining a serious expression.

David scowled, Mary-Margaret laughed—loudly, and Emma smirked.

"Jones is my best friend, and I will not apologize for that," he said plainly.

Mary-Margaret smacked his chest playfully. "I thought I was your best friend!"

David huffed. "You know what I mean." He glared at Ruby. "Thanks."

"Awe, don't be like that, David," Emma fake-cooed.

"Yeah, Dave," Ruby laughed. "Don't be sad. I'm sure your boyfriend will make an appearance shortly."

This set the girls into another round of raucous laughter as David shook his head and took a swig of beer.

"Am I missing out on all the fun?"

Emma's arms opened wide as Killian joined the group. "Behold," she said. "David, your lover has arrived!"

Killian looked at her strangely, a hint of humor on his face, as Ruby and Mary-Margaret continued laughing along. He shot David a questioning look.

"Don't ask," was David's quiet response so Killian simply shrugged and sat down beside Emma, ordering a beer.

"How was work, man?" David asked, obviously desperate to get the spotlight off of their bromance.

Killian shrugged. "Same old." He thanked the waitress for his drink and looked over at Emma as soon as Mary-Margaret and David started speaking quietly to one another. "How goes it, Swan? Enjoying your time off?"

She snorted rather un-ladylike. "Yeah, but I could be enjoying it more."

He raised his eyebrows. "How so?"

"Walsh and I broke up," she sighed.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "Eh, it wasn't going anywhere. He understood."

"So I take it he couldn't give you what you wanted then."

Emma looked at him questioningly.

"In the bedroom, that is," he finished with a small smirk.

Emma burst out laughing, attracting the attention of the rest of the table. She covered her mouth and apologized before turning back to Killian. "No. You would be right," she said.

"The search continues then," he quipped, raising an eyebrow as he took a small pull from his drink.

"Never-ending search," she mumbled, staring down at her own beer.

"I wouldn't say that," he told her.

"Maybe you should put an ad out," Ruby joked. "Woman seeking man who can light her entire body on fire."

"Yeah, that won't have horrible results," David said.

"Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe I just need to find a guy, let him take me home and have his way with me, and get it out of my system," Emma shrugged.

"If it wants to get out of your system," Ruby mumbled into her drink.

"Hey!" Emma feigned offense.

"I don't think you have to do anything so rash, Swan," Killian cut in. "You just haven't found the right person yet."

"Really? And you're an expert in this field?" Emma asked him.

"Well no, I wouldn't say that. But what you're looking for is out there."

"How are you so sure?"

Killian licked his lips slowly as he looked at her. "I just am."

Emma nodded her head doubtfully and looked down at her drink. When the others resumed conversation, Killian shifted closer to her.

"Tell me, Swan, have you ever thought about it?" he asked quietly.

Emma looked up at him. "About what?"

"Us."

Emma's eyebrows shut up to her hairline. "Not in the mood for your flirting tonight, Jones."

"You always say that," he smirked.

"And I'm always telling the truth." The response came out more flirtatiously than Emma meant, but she just blamed it on the alcohol.

"I've told you before, Swan. There aren't many men who could handle a woman like you."

"And you could?" she challenged boldly.

He bit his lip and looked at her, his gaze turning calculating. "I don't know. Perhaps."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Gimme a break."

"Tell me," he said, shifting closer. "Is it a man ravishing you without a care in the world that you desire? Or a man who won't let you leave his bed until you're completely sated?"

Emma swallowed a lump in her throat, trying to figure out his intentions. She couldn't even stop her eyes from flickering down to his lips as he spoke. "Both," she finally breathed.

"Mmm, I see."

They stared at each other for a charged minute before Mary-Margaret broke the spell.

"You guys want to order another round?" she asked them.

Emma snapped out of her haze and turned to her friend. "Umm...yeah, sure."

Then David asked Killian a question about work and she tuned them out, trying to shake off the heated conversation she had shared with Jones.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

"Can two friends who have known each other for a long time have sex without complications?"

"I don't understand. Would you like me to search the web for 'can two friends who have known each other for a long time have sex without complications?'"

Emma sighed in frustration. "You really suck at your job, Siri," she said, throwing her phone onto the couch.

It had been four days since she'd seen Killian, since they'd had that strange conversation at the bar. It had turned far too heated far too quickly and she didn't know what to think about it. She'd known Killian for almost eight years now and while there had always been something there—a flirtation in their easy banter, an underlying tension in the way they were always so sarcastic and argumentative with one another—she had never really thought about it to this extent and she wondered why she was doing so now.

Sure her love life, or lack there of, was pretty pathetic lately—as Ruby had so lovingly said. But could the answer possibly be staring her right in the face?

Her phone ringing brought her out of her musings. She picked it up, her heart plummeting into her stomach when she saw his name on the screen. She debated not picking up, an irrational part of her worrying that he somehow knew exactly what she'd been thinking about. But then she rolled her eyes at her ridiculousness and answered.

"Hello?"

"Swan." His voice was like velvet caressing her name. "What are you doing?'

"Nothing," she said, focusing on making sure her voice sounded as light and normal as possible. "Just basking in the ambience of my existence."

Yeah, that sounded normal.

His answering chuckle did things to her insides. "I see. Well, if you have time to step away from your philosophical musings, I wanted to see if you'd want to have dinner. I had a meeting with some investors right down the street from your place. Thought I could pick up some Chinese food and stop by?"

"Yeah...sure," she said hesitantly, not knowing if being alone with him now was a good idea.

"Don't sound too excited, Swan," he teased.

Emma shook her head at herself. "Sorry, no, of course. Come on over."

Half an hour later, each with a beer of their own, Emma and Killian sat on her couch and helped themselves to the many cartons of food he'd brought over for them. They talked about trivial things—work and the weather—and Emma felt the knot in her stomach loosen, enjoying the easy way they could always talk to each other.

"I'd love to take a vacation," Emma was saying. "Somewhere I've never been before."

"Like where?" he asked her, taking a bite of his chicken.

"Hmm...I don't know. Maybe England." She nudged him playfully with her foot. "See where it is you hail from."

Killian chuckled and wiped at his mouth with a napkin. "One of these days I'll have to take you there."

Emma's chest constricted at the way he said it. Like it was something he really wanted.

"Yeah? Do you miss it?"

Killian shrugged. "Sometimes. My family is there, so I miss them. But other than that, I don't have too much to go back to."

"So you don't think you'll ever go back and live there? Settle down with a nice English girl?" Her tone was teasing, but part of her really was curious.

He looked up at her, studying her face for a moment. "I don't think I like the idea of settling, Swan."

Emma rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Aye," he said, clearing his throat and looking down at his food on the coffee table. "I always imagined I'd live in England, but things change. People change. I can't really see myself living anywhere but here at this point." He lifted his gaze to look up at her again and the intensity in his eyes caught her off guard.

"Good. I'd miss your stupid face," she said, trying to lighten the suddenly tense atmosphere.

Killian closed his eyes and smiled slightly. "Such a way with words."

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

The week had been hectic. Another case of a man suspecting his wife was cheating on him with the CEO of a competing company. After days of recon, Emma had finally discovered she was indeed having an affair—with her husband's secretary, a young woman in her twenties.

She was finishing telling the story to Ruby, David, and Mary-Margaret when Killian finally joined their table. But tonight, he wasn't alone. A dark-haired woman was in tow, smiling beautifully.

"He-ey, man," David laughed, welcoming his friend.

"Evening, ladies," Killian nodded at the others. "Everyone, this is Milah. She's just moved to the area recently."

The rest of the table welcomed her warmly while Emma took in her and Killian's body language with each other. Milah was English too and she seemed to be quite cozy with him. It had been a while since Killian had brought a girl around them.

The duo sat down and conversation flowed smoothly. Halfway through the night, after consuming a fair amount of alcohol, Milah seemed to become more touchy-feely. She would wrap an arm around Killian, lean in close, giggle at whatever he said. She was staring at him like he hung the moon.

Killian seemed oblivious to the effect he was having on her, but he smiled just as flirtatiously, obviously enjoying her attentions. Emma felt an emotion she couldn't quite identify at first. Not until Milah leaned over to kiss his cheek.

Jealousy. She was jealous. It left her in a daze. She'd never had these feelings towards Killian before, but something about seeing him flirting with another woman right in front of her made her insides spark with a flare of anger. She took a large gulp of beer, trying to squelch the fire, but she found it didn't do her any good. When Milah excused herself to the restroom, Killian finally looked over at Emma.

"So, Swan, how was your week?" he asked casually, taking a pull from his beer.

"Fine," she shrugged, eyes focused on her drink.

"Yeah? Anything...exciting?" She could tell he sensed something was off, but he tread carefully.

"Nope."

"Are we down to one syllables today, Swan?" he chuckled.

Emma turned to him. "Why so interested, Jones?" she snapped.

He was slightly taken aback by her biting tone. He swallowed hard and watched her carefully until Milah returned, cuddling close to him.

"Miss me?" she asked.

He snapped out of his daze and turned his attention to her, a wide smile on his face. Emma rolled her eyes when no one was looking and finished the last of her beer.

David and Mary-Margaret called it an early night, leaving Ruby, Killian, Milah, and Emma alone. Ruby and Milah were getting on quite nicely. Both seemed to have the same idea tonight—get as drunk as possible. As the drinks kept flowing, Milah grew more and more bold with Killian, resting her head on his shoulder, whispering in his ear, making several hints that she was "tired" and might "call it an early night." Everyone took the hint, including Killian, but for the life of her Emma couldn't figure out if he was interested in taking Milah home tonight. Sure he wasn't wading off her advances and he was being flirty too, but she couldn't read his intentions.

A little while later Milah stood up, stretched her arms, and said, "I think it's time for me to turn in. Whadd'ya say, Killy? Take a girl home?" She smiled coyly, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

Ruby raised her eyebrows at Emma over the rim of her glass while Emma tried to act super interested in the happy hour menu on the table.

"Let me get you a cab, Milah," he said kindly, standing up. "Alas, I have to be up early tomorrow morning so I don't think I'll be able to accompany you."

Emma looked up as Milah pouted at him, running a hand down his chest, and she felt the sudden urge to jump across the table and wrench her hand off of him.

Killian chuckled at Milah and grabbed her hand. "Come on, you."

Milah giggled as Killian led her away from the table. When they were gone, Ruby turned to Emma.

"She's nice," Ruby smirked. "Think Jones'll get lucky tonight?"

Emma tried her hardest to remain neutral as she shrugged. "I don't know. Probably."

Ruby started going on about something trivial, but Emma was barely listening, her entire mind focused on whether or not Killian would come back.

Her question was answered several minutes later when he returned to the table, taking his seat.

"So, you gonna hit that?" Ruby asked him.

Killian laughed and took a sip of beer, shaking his head but not answering.

"Ugh," Ruby moaned, glancing at her phone. "I gotta go. I promised my mom I'd FaceTime her before bed. She's having major separation anxiety lately." She got up and put on her coat. "Wanna share a cab, Em?"

Before Emma could respond, Killian spoke up, "I'll get her a cab, Ruby."

Ruby looked between the the two of them before shrugging. "Alrighty, see you guys." With a quick hug to each of them, she was gone.

Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat as Killian remained silent, taking a drink from his beer every now and then.

"So," she said when the silence became too loud. "Milah's nice."

He looked at her carefully, setting his glass down. "Yeah," he finally said. "She's a sweet lass."

Emma nodded in response. Another awkward silence followed.

"She seems to like you," she tried again.

Killian only stared back at her. Emma nodded again, looking down at the table.

"Yeah..." she mused, mostly to herself. She didn't know why it was suddenly so awkward to be alone with him.

But then, yes she did.

Suddenly he was shifting closer to her and she couldn't breathe. She looked up at him and he was staring down at the ground, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. Finally, he lifted his gaze and the intensity in his blue eyes took her off guard. She audibly gulped.

"I have a confession to make," he said, his voice low. His gaze flickered between her eyes and lips and she couldn't look away. "There's something I haven't been able to stop thinking about for days now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, his eyes boring into hers. "I don't...mean to be forward, Swan," he moved closer, "but you never answered my question the other day."

"What question?"

"Have you thought about it?"

"Thought about what?"

"Us," he said, and their previous conversation came rushing back to her.

She shifted away slightly and took a large gulp of her beer. She sensed she'd need it. She turned to him again. "Have you?" she asked quietly.

A slow smirk appeared on his face. "I asked you first."

Emma took a shaky breath. "Okay..."

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Why don't we answer at the same time?" she suggested.

He chuckled. "What are we, in grade school, Swan?"

Emma scowled at him.

"Fine," he relented, finishing off his beer and setting the glass down, turning to her fully. "On three."

Emma nodded. "One."

He smirked at her.

Emma cleared her throat, trying not to let his sexiness affect her. "Two...three."

Her loud, nervous 'yes' almost completely muted his low 'yes,' but she heard it nonetheless. They stared at each other for a long time afterwards, letting their admission hang in the air between them. Killian sat back in his chair, looking at her fully. Emma felt scrutinized under his gaze, but she found she kind of liked it.

"So you've thought about it, huh?" she finally asked lamely.

He nodded, watching her carefully.

"It's crazy, I know," she began rambling, "I mean...we've just been friends for so long. I never...I don't think..."

"Emma—"

Suddenly the intensity of the moment became too much and Emma had to get out of there. She grabbed her coat and bag and quickly stood up. "You know what? I've got a yoga class really early tomorrow morning so I'm gonna go."

Killian raised his eyebrows at her, looking slightly hurt. "Wow, you're really going to leave after that?"

She ran a hand through her hair and shook her head. "Sorry, I just...I've had a lot to drink...I'm sure you have, too."

He looked down at the table, shaking his head. "I'm not drunk, Swan."

"Well I am. And I'm tired and I wanna go to bed." She stood with baited breath, awaiting his response. She didn't know why her first instinct was to run, but talking about...about this...with Killian...?

For the sake of their friendship, and their friendship with everyone else, they shouldn't cross this line.

"All right," he said, sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms at her. "I'll see you later then."

Foregoing any form of physical farewell, Emma simply smiled at him and left. Outside she breathed in the fresh air, focusing on slowing her beating heart and clearing her mind.

There were so many reasons why they shouldn't do this, whatever this was. They were too much alike, they knew too much about each other, and it would completely destroy the friendship. All for a round of maybe good sex.

Maybe great sex.

The thought came unbidden to Emma's mind and she quickly shook it off. This was dangerous territory. But she couldn't stop thinking about it.

She bit her lip and hailed a cab.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Emma threw herself into work that week, avoiding her friends with the excuse that she was drowning in paperwork. Really, she was trying to avoid him. She thought that maybe taking a little break from seeing or talking to him would make her stop thinking about him. But of course, that didn't work.

Any time she saw the hint of romance—be it in a movie, in the dairy aisle at the grocery store, or just hearing it in a song—she thought of Killian. Of what it would be like to touch him that way, kiss him that way, feel him that way. It was becoming borderline obsessive.

She even skipped that Friday's get together, not ready to see him after a week of fantasizing about him non-stop. So she sent a group text to all of them, not wanting Killian to know her not going out had anything to do with him. Thankfully, no one gave her a hard time, even though it was rare for any of them to skip their weekly tradition.

Ruby and Mary-Margaret invited her to coffee on Monday, but still not feeling social she declined. Then Killian texted her on Wednesday to ask how she was. Obviously he could sense something was up. She sent him a short response that everything was fine and that work was hectic lately. He didn't respond after that.

Mary-Margaret called her a couple of times, but Emma didn't pick up. She felt guilty for avoiding her friends, but she felt so overwhelmed by her newfound thoughts about Killian that she didn't think she could manage a cohesive conversation with any of them.

But Thursday night, Mary-Margaret texted her, threatening that she'd come break her door down if Emma didn't call her back. Knowing her friend wasn't bluffing, Emma steeled herself and dialed.

"Seriously?" was Mary-Margaret's greeting and Emma knew she deserved it.

"Hey," Emma replied hesitantly. "Sorry, I've had some big cases the last couple of weeks. They've been completely consuming my time." It was a bit of an exaggeration, since she had purposely chosen projects that were sure to keep her occupied.

"I understand you're busy, Emma," she said. "We've just been kind of worried. It's not like you to completely fall off the face of the planet."

"I know. I'm sorry," she said again. "I promise not to drop off the radar so abruptly next time."

"Good," Mary-Margaret said, clearly content with Emma's response. "Are you coming out tomorrow night?"

"Yeah," she said before she could change her mind. "Wouldn't miss it."

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Emma prepared herself to see Killian again after two weeks of total avoidance by taking three shots of tequila in her kitchen before calling a taxi and heading over to the new bar downtown that David had been wanting to go to. She was slightly relieved when Killian wasn't there yet. Taking a deep breath, she joined her friends.

"She's alive," Ruby announced dramatically as Emma took a seat beside her.

Emma smiled apologetically. "Hey, guys. Sorry, work's been a bitch."

"We figured," David said. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Emma nodded. "What's been going on with you guys?"

Emma lost herself in conversation with her friends, almost forgetting why she had been so nervous in the first place. Of course she was reminded of exactly why she had had knots in her stomach when Killian Jones sauntered over to their table. He greeted the others, only glancing briefly at Emma, before draping his leather jacket over the back of a chair and sitting down.

When the others were in the midst of talking about the amazing location of the bar, Killian finally turned to Emma.

"Long time no see, Swan," he teased.

Emma finished taking a rather large gulp from her beer before setting it down and facing him. "Yeah...how is everything?" she asked lamely.

Killian shrugged. "It's fine. Work's been good, so no complaints."

Emma nodded. "Cool." Her gaze flickered down to his collarbone, where a dusting of chest hair was peeking out from the undone buttons of his shirt. And she realized her fantasies of this man did not do him justice. My God, how had she been able to overlook how devastatingly handsome he was all these years?

Too late, she realized he had continued talking to her and she had completely missed every word. Shaking her head, she moved her eyes back to his. "Sorry, I didn't understand. What did you say?"

Killian tilted his head at her. "I was just telling you they finally finished the upgrades on my boat last week. I want to take her out sailing soon."

"Yeah, that'd be fun. I'm sure David would love that."

Killian furrowed his eyebrows at her, but said nothing more. Emma excused herself to the bar, making up some lame excuse about wanting to see their liquor stash.

At the bar, Emma tried desperately to calm her nerves. She had to stop this. She couldn't go on like this, lusting after her best friend. It just wasn't healthy.

Even though she was already tipsy from the three shots of tequila she'd had before she came, she ordered two more, taking them one after the other, hoping the alcohol could clear her frazzled brain.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her lower back and turned around to see Killian standing behind her. Close, too close.

"Hey," she said, clearing her throat. "What's up?"

"You've been avoiding me."

Emma shut her mouth at his blunt accusation and Killian chuckled darkly.

"What, you're not even going to deny it?" he asked.

"I haven't been avoiding you, I've just been...busy."

"That's bullshit, Emma. Why don't you try being honest?"

This grated on Emma's nerves. "Hey! I don't owe you anything."

"I never said you did!"

"Then what do you want?"

They glared at each other, both angry, neither backing down.

"I just want you to be honest," he finally said, defeated.

"Honest about what?"

"About what you want!"

"Oh, because you're such an expert on what I want?"

"Believe it or not, Emma, I know you better than you think. There's something holding you back, love. What is it?"

"Please don't call me that right now," she pleaded desperately.

"Emma."

She heaved a heavy sigh and looked away.

"So that's it then?" he snapped harshly. "Eight years of friendship and the second it gets to a place you can't handle, you shut me out?"

"It's not about what I can and can't handle. It's about this being wrong."

"What being wrong?"

"You! And me! The notion that we could...that we should..." She trailed off, knowing he'd get the picture. "When we can't."

"Why not?" he asked, stepping closer and completely invading her space.

Emma's breathing hitched. "Because..." She searched for a reason, but her mind was coming up blank.

"Because it might be amazing?" he breathed, dipping his head lower, his lips grazing her ear.

"Because," she whispered half-heartedly.

"Because you might like it?"

She moaned quietly in protest.

"Because you might love it?" he whispered, his tongue darting out to lick the outer shell of her ear, making her feel lightheaded and dizzy with the simple touch.

Emma placed her hands on his chest, though to push him away or pull him closer she didn't know. "Because it could ruin everything," she said quietly.

Killian pulled back and gazed into her eyes, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I don't think anything could ruin what we have, Emma."

"You really believe that?" She didn't need to ask because she could see it in his eyes that he did.

He nodded once. "Aye."

Emma looked down at his chest, her fingers playing with the necklace he wore. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it," she admitted quietly. "About what it would be like if we..." She trailed off.

"You don't have to think about it, love," he whispered, leaning forward again, cupping her face in his hand and stroking her cheek gently with his thumb. "I can just show you."

Her eyes snapped back to his and she saw the fire blazing behind his irises. He was serious. He wanted this and no matter how hard she denied it, she wanted it too.

Killian leaned in closer and her eyes fluttered, thinking he was going to kiss her. Instead, his lips landed softly on her cheek for a second before he pulled back, leaving her in a slight daze.

"I'm going to head back to the table before they start wondering where I went," he said, smiling tightly.

"O-okay," she stammered. "Be there in a sec."

He nodded and left, leaving her wondering what the hell just happened.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

The rest of the night was spent sharing secret glances and heated gazes in between talking with their friends. Sometimes Killian would lean over to listen to something Ruby was saying and Emma could smell the cologne and beer permeate from him. It was driving her crazy, in the best possible way.

Everything was so much more charged now since their encounter at the bar. When their hands would innocently brush, it sent a jolt through her. When his eyes connected with hers, even for a moment, it left her speechless.

Mary-Margaret and David called it an early night and shortly after they left, a guy from the bar came over to chat up Ruby. That was when Emma felt the night grow more dangerous. It became even worse when the conversation steered towards sex.

The guy, whose name turned out to be Victor, was trying his hardest not to look scandalized by Ruby's blunt nature. But her friend was a force to be reckoned with.

"I'm serious, good sex has to be a little kinky," she was saying before turning to Emma. "Back me up, Em. You've been saying how you wanted more spice in your love life."

Emma's mouth gaped open at being put on the spot. "I don't think I was looking for...kinky," she said, shifting uncomfortably, the presence of the man beside her so heavy it threatened to suffocate her.

"But..." Ruby pressed.

Emma rolled her eyes, knowing the only way to shut Ruby up was to be straight-forward. "I've already told you, Ruby. I want a guy who can give it to me rough and not apologize."

Victor blushed at Emma's comment and Ruby only smirked in response, turning to give him a wide grin. The poor guy had no idea what he was in for.

After chatting away for a few more minutes, it became apparent Ruby was going home with this guy. It was confirmed shortly after when Ruby started yawning dramatically. Victor offered to share a cab with her since he was coincidentally ready to call it a night too. The pair said their goodbyes and left, leaving Emma and Killian completely alone.

"I hope she knows what she's doing," Killian murmured.

Emma smiled softly. "She's a good judge of character. She'll be fine."

Killian nodded and sat back in his seat, staring at her. "So, Swan, now what?"

His expression was so innocent, so unassuming and sweet and perfect like he always was. She bit her lip and folded her arms on the table, shrugging. His eyes flickered down to her mouth and she saw his jaw clench.

"Maybe we should call it a night, too," he suggested.

"Maybe..." She glanced down at the table. She was losing the little bit of control she had left. She knew that this moment was crucial, because this was the moment where the night would end one of two ways. And she knew exactly which way she wanted it to. Decision made, she braced herself and looked up into his eyes once more. "Maybe we could share a cab," she finally said.

The comment was innocent enough, but the deeper meaning was there. Killian studied her for a moment before he slowly stood up, grabbing his leather jacket off the back of his chair and shrugging it on. He held his hand out in front of him. "After you."

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

The cab ride to her apartment was quiet, really quiet. The only sound came from the soft music playing on the radio.

Emma tried to calm her nerves. Was she really doing this? Was she really about to sleep with Killian?

When they reached her place, Emma turned to him hesitantly. "You should come up. For coffee."

He knew. She could see it in his eyes that he fucking knew.

He paid the taxi fair and followed Emma into her building. After entering her apartment, Emma kicked off her shoes as Killian closed and locked the door behind them. She turned around and watched as he took off his jacket, hanging it on a hook by the door before kicking off his shoes as well. She was about to offer him something to drink when he took a step towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him.

"Do you have any idea how badly I want you, Swan?" he asked, his voice hoarse. She could only shake her head in response. He chuckled humorlessly. "You wouldn't, would you?" he continued in that same rough voice. "You're so damn oblivious sometimes."

Any questions on the tip of her tongue were silenced when his mouth connected with her neck, sucking at her pulse point as she shivered and gasped in response. He began assaulting her throat and neck with wet kisses, sucking and then darting his tongue out to soothe the area. His hands trailed down her waist, grabbing a handful of her ass in each hand as he squeezed and pulled her lower half against his, both of them groaning at the contact. She could feel him, hard and rigid against her abdomen, and she was anxious to see what he had hidden under there.

But he had her in a vice grip and she couldn't do anything with her hands but place them on his chest as his lips trailed up her jaw, to her cheek, finally kissing the corner of her mouth before he pulled back to look at her, both of them panting for breath.

"I want you, Emma," he whispered, his voice sending chills of pleasure down her body.

She could do nothing but nod in response and a second later, his lips were on hers. It wasn't a gentle kiss either, to ease into things and learn one another. No. It was animalistic, raw, and full of passion. They pushed and pulled, devoured one another, tongues dancing together, both of them fighting for control and neither willing to give up the reigns.

Emma gasped when he pressed her back against the wall, pinning her there with a hand on either side of her head as his lips once again trailed down her jaw to her collarbone. He reached for the hem of her shirt and they pulled apart just long enough to pull it off and toss it aside. His hands moved to her lace-covered breasts, squeezing them firmly and making her moan as her head hit the wall behind her. She closed her eyes in ecstasy as his mouth continued licking and sucking at her throat.

Emma needed more so she reached behind her and unclasped her bra, letting it fall down her shoulders before she tossed it to the floor. She watched as his eyes took in the sight of her bare breasts, pupils dilating as he licked his lips a moment before leaning forward and flicking his tongue over a nipple.

"Oh," she gasped as he sucked and laved at her hardening peak before kissing across her chest and paying the same attention to the other one.

She needed more.

Emma managed to move her hands down his chest as her fingers began frantically unbuttoning his shirt. He barely pulled away from her to shrug it off and throw it to join the pile of clothing on the floor. Emma wasted no time wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him forward so his bare chest rubbed deliciously against her bare breasts as their mouths fused together once more. His chest hair against her skin sent a thrill down to the pit of her stomach as their tongues continued their erotic dance with each other.

Killian's hands trailed down her stomach to the button of her jeans and he popped them open easily with one hand, pulling down the zipper and pushing them down her hips as he pulled away.

"I think you said something about wanting it rough?" he murmured, his mouth so close to hers she could feel his breath hit her lips. He pushed her jeans down her legs until she finally stepped out of them. He stood up and his eyes lazily moved from her toes up her body until he met her eyes again with a lascivious look on his face. "I'd ask if that's what you want, but you and I both know it is so let's stop with the games, shall we?" And before she could utter a single response, his hands grabbed her ass roughly and lifted her up off the ground.

Emma squeaked in surprise before wrapping her arms and legs around him. Her mouth sought his out once more as she felt him move them away from the wall and down the hall towards her bedroom. His kisses didn't cease even as he reached the bed and leaned forward, laying her down as he laid on top of her.

He ground his hips against her core and since the only things separating them were his jeans and her panties, she could feel his entire length pressing exactly where she craved him. After a few minutes, he pulled away, making her whine in protest. Killian had the audacity to chuckle at her as he stood up straight and undid the fly of his jeans with deft fingers. Emma watched, biting her lip, as he pushed them down his legs before stepping out of them, leaving him in a snug pair of black boxer-briefs, completely tented in the front with his arousal.

Without warning, he reached forward, grabbing her hips and pulling her to the edge of the bed so he was between her legs, leaning down and attacking her mouth with raw, passionate kisses once more. His lips completely devoured hers and she stopped fighting and let him take the reigns.

His lips began trailing down her throat, her chest, to her stomach. Her abdominal muscles clenched as he moved even lower, grabbing onto each side of her panties before pulling them down her legs. Without giving Emma a chance to catch her breath, he spread her legs and delved in, his mouth coming into contact with her soaked sex and making her gasp and moan in pleasure.

He didn't waste any time, his lips and tongue completely devouring her. She couldn't do anything else but reach her hands down to thread in his hair. But as soon as she did that, he grabbed her hands and pinned them down by her hips as his tongue continued to work her over firmly.

"Fuck!" she moaned, writhing beneath him. "Killian!"

Her climax started out slow, before spreading throughout her entire body in a massive explosion of pure pleasure. Emma's hips rolled beneath him while he kept her pinned down, his tongue slowly bringing her down from her high.

Emma continued panting heavily. "Fuck..."

Killian lifted his head from her with a smirk, kissing his way up her stomach. "That good?"

"Shut up," she said weakly, reaching down and running a hand lazily through his hair.

"Don't fall asleep on me, love. I'm not quite finished with you yet."

He hovered over her, kissing her soundly on the lips as his brief-covered erection ground into her soaking, sensitive core. She could taste herself on his tongue and it turned her on even more.

"Killian," she whispered as she broke away for air. She reached down and pushed at his briefs.

He suddenly wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up slightly and moving them to the center of the bed before nestling back between her legs once again. He helped her push his briefs all the way off and then it was bare flesh rubbing against bare flesh and damn it was heaven.

"Please," she whispered again.

"You want this," he breathed quietly against her mouth, thrusting his hips forward to coat himself in her essence. "I know because I can feel it."

"Mmm..." Emma let out a shaky breath as she finally felt the tip of him at her entrance.

He looked into her eyes and in that moment he was Killian, her friend, and he was asking permission. She almost laughed at the sudden reappearance of his gentlemanly side, but all she could do was nod once. And then he was pushing inside her, slowly, inch by inch.

"Don't be gentle," she murmured as he seated himself in her to the hilt.

Killian caught her eyes as he rolled his hips softly. "Wouldn't dream of it, love," he smirked, before pulling all the way out and then slamming back into her.

Emma moaned as he set a punishing pace, his hips snapping into hers faster and harder. Killian wrapped one hand around her thigh, lifting it higher on his hip while his other hand rested by her head for leverage.

"Is this what you wanted?" he grunted.

"Yes!" Emma gasped.

The sound of flesh slapping against flesh and the sweet scent of sex filled the air as Killian continued pumping in and out of her rapidly. The hand by her head reached down and he began rubbing firm circles around her sensitive clit.

"You feel so good, Emma," he murmured in her ear. "So fucking good. Do you feel how hard I am for you?"

Emma moaned and looked down and it was the sight of Killian's cock, glistening with her arousal as it pumped in and out of her, that sent her spiraling into her second orgasm of the night. This one was even more intense, making her practically scream out his name as he grunted and moaned and didn't slow down.

Both of Killian's hands fell to each side of her head on the bed as his hips snapped against hers before faltering. His thrusts grew more erratic before he let out a low moan and she felt him spill himself inside of her, coating her walls in his release. His hips slowed down gradually before he collapsed on top of her, both of them fighting to catch their breath.

Killian pulled his still semi-hard cock out of her before collapsing on his back beside her. Emma continued panting as she stared up at the ceiling in awe. She felt the muscles in her body sporadically twitch as she laid in the aftershock. She placed a shaky hand on her forehead, her other hand trailing down to between her legs. She cupped her sex, reveling in how utterly wrecked and deliciously sore she began to feel.

Killian stole her breath away when he suddenly rolled over on top of her and cupped her cheek, his mouth claiming hers, his tongue darting out to enter her mouth. He nipped at her bottom lip before he finally pulled back for air and looked down at her, his chest rising and falling with his rapid breaths.

"Again?" he asked eagerly.

Emma bit her lip, unsuccessfully trying to hold back a smile. "Again."

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

They didn't leave her apartment the entire weekend and they went at it whenever they weren't doing something else—like eating, using the bathroom, showering (but sometimes even then too).

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

On Monday, it was after a lazy round of early morning sex that Killian rushed out of her place to go home and get ready for work.

She went over to his place that night.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

He returned to her apartment the night after that, where in the midst of their lazing about the couch, Emma couldn't stop herself from asking, "So what happened with Milah?"

Killian frowned. "What do you mean?"

Emma shrugged, trying her hardest to seem casual even though she'd been dying to ask him about her for days. "She just seemed to like you is all. She was nice."

Killian shrugged. "She knew my good mate Robin back in England. I was just doing him a solid, since she's new to the States and all."

"Oh. Well, you guys looked cute together." It was slightly immature, but it was out of Emma's mouth before she could stop it.

Killian chuckled and leaned over, kissing her long and hard before pulling away and leaving her breathless.

"Not to sound like a blooming arse, but I do say jealousy becomes you, darling."

Emma rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his chest, pushing him away slightly. "Not jealous," she said.

"Mmm. Well you should know I was never interested in Milah, love."

"Huh," was her simple response.

"Aye. I'm quite partial to a certain blonde called Emma."

Emma couldn't hold back her smile at that, but damn if she didn't try.

Killian sighed exaggeratedly and made to stand up from the couch. "But as it turns out, she doesn't care about who I spend time with. So perhaps I will just go and call—"

Before he could finish that statement, Emma grabbed onto the front of his shirt and pulled him back down to her. "You're not going anywhere," she said firmly. "You are mine." And just so Killian couldn't make some cheeky comment about her sudden possessiveness, she claimed his mouth with hers.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Thursday, a case kept Emma in the office late and it startled her how much she missed seeing Killian.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Come Friday, she was his once again. They were on his couch in the living room. Emma was laying on top of him and they were making out and grinding against each other like teenagers. Killian's phone chimed for the tenth time in that hour and Emma groaned, pulling away from him and sitting up, straddling his lap.

"Ignore it," he gasped, placing a hand on the back of her neck to pull her back down.

Emma grabbed his hand and smiled. "You know it's David."

"I know it's bloody David," he groaned. "I don't care. Please."

"They're expecting us at the bar," she sighed resignedly, before pushing herself off of him and standing.

Killian groaned again and ran both hands over his face and through his hair, not bothering to hide the rather large bulge in his pants.

Emma moved to his foyer and looked at her reflection in the small mirror on the wall. She ruffled her hair over her shoulders. "Come on, it's already seven," she told him.

She heard him sigh and push himself off the couch. She smiled when he approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Emma watched in the reflection as Killian buried his face in her neck, nibbling at it gently. She lifted her shoulders and shrugged away from his tickling touch.

"Come on," she said softly, turning around and wrapping her arms around his waist, placing soft kisses under his chin.

Killian sighed, his hands going firmly to her hips. "You aren't providing a very compelling argument for leaving the apartment, love."

Emma smiled widely and pulled away, grabbing his leather jacket off its hook and handing it to him.

"We're leaving early," he warned as he shrugged his jacket on.

Emma bit her lip as she pulled on her boots. "So bossy."

Killian gave her a dark look that had her flushing bright red as she straightened back up. He took a predatory step forward before wrapping both arms around her waist and pulling her flush against him, his mouth resting against her cheek, his breath warming her skin.

"We're leaving early," he whispered, "so we can come back here and finish what we bloody started."


	2. Part Two

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since this whole thing with Killian started. Emma still wasn't exactly sure what it was they were doing, but whenever they were alone they couldn't keep their hands off each other. It was like a switch had been flipped in Emma. There was an electric charge whenever she was near him. She felt it rattle her bones and tingle up her spine. Why they had waited so long—how they had been able to wait so long—she had no idea.

They agreed not to tell their friends what it was they were doing. Well, Emma had suggested it and Killian had gone along with it. She just didn't know how she could explain what it was they were doing when she wasn't sure of it herself. All she knew was that she liked being with him—no, she loved being with him.

It was one of those nights. Emma had stayed late at the office to finish some paperwork and Killian was out with the guys. It scared her how much she'd rather be with him than there. She loved her job and nothing and no one had ever given her a reason to want to get away from it. But right then, as she finished her work, she realized all she wanted to do was be with him.

When she was safely in her bug, she took a deep breath, pulling her phone out of her pocket. There were no missed calls or texts from him and she realized it was the first time since they started this whole thing that they had gone a whole day without speaking. Her heart fell a little in her chest at the fact that he hadn't tried contacting her and she thought maybe he didn't feel the same pull she did.

She wondered what would happen if she just showed up at the bar they were at. She could call Mary-Margaret and find out where they went. She debated it for several minutes before deciding against it. She didn't want to force herself on him.

So instead, she called Ruby. She was thankfully bored out of her mind so they decided to meet up at a local pub for dinner and drinks.

Thirty minutes later, Emma and Ruby were sitting at a tall table in the pub. Ruby was regaling her date the other night with Victor. She noticed when Ruby spoke about him, her entire face lit up. Emma smiled, happy for her friend.

"Mary-Margaret didn't want to come out?" Emma asked as they shared a basket of fries.

Ruby shrugged. "She said she was tired from work. She wanted to stay in and watch some movies until David came home."

Emma nodded, dipping some fries in ketchup.

"I hope you don't mind," Ruby started, "but I invited Victor to come hang out with us."

Emma shook her head with a smile. "That's okay. I'd like to get to know him."

Ruby beamed at that, then added nonchalantly, "And he's bringing a friend."

Emma paused, shooting her friend a glare.

"I swear I'm not trying to set you up or anything," Ruby defended. "I just figured it would be fun to hang out with some new people."

Emma sighed. "Fine. Not like I can do anything about it now."

"That's the spirit! Oh, he's here." Ruby stood and waved them over, but Emma didn't turn to face them until they reached their table.

She looked up and saw Victor, followed by another, quite handsome man. Quick introductions were made. His friend's name was August and they had apparently known each other since high school. The four of them sat to polite conversation before Ruby and Victor seemed to get lost in their own world, huddling close and talking quietly to one another.

"So Emma," August said, turning towards her, "what is it that you do?"

Emma took a sip of her beer before answering. "I'm a private investigator."

"No kidding. Best not get on your bad side then."

Emma chuckled. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

They continued talking and Emma found that August was actually a really nice guy. He was a writer and had several books and short stories published. She made him laugh and he made her roll her eyes when he started flirting with her unabashedly.

"So uh...what's your situation. Are you single?"

"Of course she is!" Ruby chimed in.

Emma shot her friend a look, but Ruby simply shrugged. Emma sighed and turned back to face him.

"Umm, yeah. I'm single," she said.

"You don't sound too sure," he chuckled.

Emma shook her head, getting rid of all thoughts of the man she had shared a bed with over the last couple of weeks. "No, I am. I'm sure."

"Good to know."

Once August found out she was single, he seemed to turn up the charm ten-fold, and even though it went against everything she knew, she went along with it. It was nice to have a guy pay attention to her. Someone who didn't know her, didn't know her dark secrets or anything about her past. But, more often than she cared to admit, Killian's face would flash behind her eyes and she would feel a sudden sense of guilt. She'd have to shake it off, knowing it was irrational. It wasn't like they were exclusive or anything, not that they'd ever really talked about it.

August was in the middle of telling a story about him and Victor during their college years. His arm had somehow found its way draped along the back of Emma's chair and he was leaning in towards her. Emma laughed along with his jokes and he seemed to like that a lot, because his own face would break out into a bright smile along with her.

"You have a beautiful laugh," he told her at one point, making her blush.

She didn't plan on this night going any further than this. It was just nice talking to a new man. It was a welcome breath of fresh air, but she knew deep down she didn't want anything more and she tried to convince herself that it had nothing to do with Killian.

"Oh hey, the guys just texted me," Ruby said, staring down at her phone. "They wanna see if we want to meet up with them." She typed away on her phone before setting it down.

Emma's heart suddenly fell to her stomach. "What did you say?"

"I told them where we were," Ruby shrugged, picking up her phone when it chimed again. "Cool, they're nearby."

Fifteen minutes later, Ruby was standing again and waving the guys over. August noticed Emma tense and he asked her if she was okay. She waved him off, telling him she was perfectly fine. At least, she was perfectly fine until her eyes met Killian's as he finally approached the table. Robin was in tow.

Everyone said their 'hello's,' Emma only offering up a shy smile as Killian took the empty seat on her other side. He'd eyed the way August's arm was draped over the back of her chair, but he said nothing and the table easily fell into conversation.

"David went home to Mary-Margaret I'm assuming?" Ruby asked.

"Yep," Robin replied. "Bloody lovesick that one is."

"I think it's sweet," Emma found herself saying.

August chuckled, leaning in closer. "Are you a closet romantic, Emma?"

Emma's face warmed. "Uh, no. Not exactly."

"I don't believe that," he said. "What's the most romantic thing you've ever done?"

Emma felt slightly embarrassed that all eyes at the table were suddenly on her and she shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Killian who was simply gazing back at her with a bored expression.

"I don't know," she finally said. "One time I tried cooking a surprise dinner for a boyfriend, but I ended up burning it so I guess that doesn't really count."

August laughed at that. "Well, at least you tried right?"

Emma smiled slightly. This guy really was too kind for his own good.

"You've never cooked me dinner before, Swan."

Emma's head whipped around to stare at Killian, who was now smirking at her. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Did you guys used to date or something?" August asked.

"Don't worry, mate, you don't have to worry about me," Killian responded. "Emma and I are merely ol' chaps. Right, Swan?"

She tilted her head at him. Just what was he getting at?

"Yeah," she answered slowly, turning back to August. "We've just known each other a while."

"A long while, wouldn't you say?" Killian pressed.

"Yeah. A long while."

August gave them each a funny look, his eyes shifting back and forth between the two of them before he shrugged and took a swig of beer.

"So, Emma," he said turning back to face her, "since you're currently unattached to anyone, would you want to grab dinner sometime?"

Emma was taken aback. Did this guy really just ask her out in front of a table full of people?

"Umm...that sounds nice," she finally said, "but I'm pretty busy right now. Work is hectic. I don't really have much time for a social life."

"Really?" Killian interjected. "But we just hung out yesterday."

Emma's mouth fell open as she looked at him. He was wearing a slight smirk, looking completely at ease.

"What did you guys do yesterday?" Ruby asked curiously.

Killian shrugged. "This and that." His eyes bored into hers.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Emma said, standing up. "Be right back." She turned and left without a second glance.

In the bathroom, Emma splashed cold water on her face before gazing up at her reflection in the mirror. She needed to get it together. Killian was being an absolute dick and she couldn't let him affect her. After taking a few calming breaths, she exited the bathroom. But once she was in the hallway someone grabbed her arm, pulling her into a small alcove. She gasped before she was pressed against the wall, a scowling, angry Killian looking back at her.

"What the hell?" she demanded. "First you act like a complete ass then you accost me outside the restrooms?"

"I needed to talk to you. It didn't seem appropriate to do so with an audience."

Emma crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, but practically outing us in front of everyone was?"

"I was merely being honest where you seemed to lack the ability, love."

"Just stop it, okay? Tell me why you're being an absolute jerk."

"I'm being a jerk. Me? You're the one out there flirting with what's-his-name right in front of me."

"We were not flirting. And I'm just being nice. Ruby really likes Victor and August is his friend."

Killian stepped closer, invading her space. Emma's breathing became ragged as he pressed his hips against hers, his hands going to her waist.

"Tell me you want me," he whispered.

She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "Killian, stop."

"Tell me."

Emma searched his eyes, the sudden insecurity she saw there surprising. "Someone will see," she tried again.

"I don't bloody give a fuck," he said harshly before closing the distance between them and claiming her mouth in a firm and possessive kiss. He attacked her mouth with fervor, in an almost punishing pace, and Emma had to pull away to catch her breath. Killian didn't let up, his lips trailing wet kisses down her neck and throat before she finally managed to push him away.

"Stop this!" she yelled, growing angry.

Killian's chest was rising and falling with his heavy breaths as he looked at her with lust-filled eyes. "When you go back there, when you're sitting next to him, and flirting with him and laughing with him, I want you to remember whose bed you're going to be in tonight." He leaned in again, his mouth capturing her ear in a tiny nip as he continued in a low voice. "When his arm is around you, I want you to know that it's going to be me buried inside you in just a few hours."

Emma's heart was beating so fast she thought it might burst right out of her chest. Her breath came out shaky as he pulled back and looked at her, his blue eyes almost completely black, before he pushed away from her and walked away.

Emma had to take a few minutes to collect herself before she returned to the table.

"Hey," August said, his face brightening upon seeing her return. "You were gone a while. Everything okay."

Emma nodded, still flustered. "Yeah, everything is fine."

"I ordered you another drink," he said, motioning to the full beer in front of her.

Emma glanced at it and thanked him before sneaking a peek at Killian, who was busy studying the condensation on his own glass. She took a deep breath before turning back to August. Killian's sudden cave-man behavior had messed with her brain before, making any coherent thought impossible. Now that she was thinking clearly again, she was beyond pissed. How dare he? Just who the hell did he think he was cornering her like that?

She considered flirting with August, just to prove a point, but she immediately decided against it, not wanting to stoop to that level and not wanting to hurt August's feelings. Instead, she tried her best to enjoy the rest of the night.

A few hours later, after a surprisingly pleasant rest of the evening, the group was standing outside of the pub chatting away as they awaited a cab for a few of them.

"Hey, Emma, August lives on the way to your place. Why don't you give him a ride?" Ruby suggested.

August spoke before she could. "No, Ruby, that's okay. I don't wanna put Emma out."

Before she knew what she was doing, Emma said, "It's no problem, really. My bug's just around the corner."

Although she had decided not to play this game with Killian, she figured a ride home was innocent enough, but would get under his stupid skin regardless. So they parted ways, Emma barely casting a glance at Killian.

The drive to August's place was fairly quiet. He lived only about ten minutes away from her, so before she knew it she was already pulling up to his apartment complex.

"Thanks a lot, Emma," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"It was no problem," she smiled.

"So, listen...I know you said you were a busy person and I get that. I just thought I'd try again. For dinner, I mean."

Emma smiled gently at him before looking down. "August—"

"It's that guy, isn't it?" he cut her off.

Emma's head snapped up to him. "What?"

He smiled indulgently. "That guy...Killian. I saw the way he looked at you."

Emma shook her head, looking out the windshield. "He's not—I mean, we're not—I mean...I don't know," she finally sighed, looking down at her lap.

"Hey, I understand," he said softly. "I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. You're obviously spoken for already."

Emma looked up at him again and he was giving her a cheeky smile. She couldn't help but laugh softly.

"It's a little bit complicated," she said.

August shrugged. "Love usually is."

Emma's mouth fell open at that, but then he was opening the door and stepping out.

"Thanks again, Emma."

"Goodnight, August."

Emma waited until he had opened the gate to his apartment complex. He turned and waved one last time before he disappeared inside. Emma let out a long sigh before pulling away from the curb. She passed her own apartment complex before she even realized it and she was in front of his place without a second thought.

She pulled out her phone, debating whether or not to text or call him. She quickly parked the car and when she was standing at the entrance, her finger hovered over the keypad for a few minutes before she finally dialed. It rang three times before he answered with a gruff "yeah."

Emma swallowed and cleared her throat. "H-Hey...it's me."

There was silence for what felt like a minute and she was about to speak again when she heard the door buzz open. His door was cracked open when she reached it and she took that as an invitation. Stepping inside, she kicked off her shoes and hung her coat on the hook in the foyer.

He was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching the news. He didn't even acknowledge her presence when she sat down a few feet away from him. She let out a sigh and sat back into the cushions, angling her body towards him.

"So you're going to give me the silent treatment?" she finally asked.

Killian ran a hand through his hair and leaned his head back against the cushions.

"You have no right to be mad," she continued. "I did nothing wrong."

"Okay."

"Okay?" She punched him in the arm. "What the hell, Killian?"

He finally turned to her, his eyes hard. "I'm not mad and I'm not ignoring you. You showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night. I'm bloody tired and I didn't ask you to come here."

Emma retreated back as if he'd slapped her. "Fine. Screw you," she said, standing up and heading towards the door.

"You already did," came his quiet response.

It halted her in her tracks. She was sure she wasn't meant to hear it, but she did. She turned around slowly and walked back over to him. He watched her with cautious eyes.

"Why are you being like this? What did I do besides have a nice night with some friends?"

"I'm acting like this because I don't know what the hell you want!" he finally exploded, standing up to face her. "We've been doing this for weeks! We fuck and we talk and then you leave and pretend it doesn't mean anything!"

"Of course it means something!"

"Then why are you so afraid to tell anyone? You hide it like it's some dirty little secret!"

"Because our friends don't need to know who we're screwing! It's none of their business! And this isn't a relationship, Killian! You said it yourself! We're fucking and that's it! That's all this was supposed to be!"

"Says who?"

"Says me! This is my decision!"

"And I have no bloody say."

"Killian. Please."

He walked to her, grabbing her around the waist. "You wanted someone who could make you feel something you've never felt before. Have I not done that? Have I not cherished you? Loved your body? Have I not given you exactly what you wanted?"

"Yes, you did...you do...but, Killian...I can't give you more than that."

He shook his head. "That's the thing though, Emma. You've already given me more than that."

Emma opened her mouth to argue, but flashbacks of the last two weeks came flitting through her mind. They'd have sex, great sex, and then spend hours afterwards talking, laughing, until they couldn't fight the pull anymore and they were all over each other again.

He was right. They were practically in a relationship already and she hadn't even realized it.

Emma shook her head and took a step back. "Okay then...this...this is over. We need to finish it now before it goes too far."

"I think you and I both know it's already gone too far, Swan."

"No...we just need to...take a step back."

It was Killian's turn to shake his head. "I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Why not?" she demanded.

Killian took a step towards her and she took one back. "Don't do that," he said, closing the space between them until he was flush against her. "I can't just let this go. Not when I already know how you kiss," he said, his voice taking on a husky tone. "How it feels to hold you, to touch you, to be inside you."

Emma's eyes fluttered shut as he leaned in and pressed his lips to her jaw.

"But if you tell me you don't want me," he whispered, "I'll let you go." He pulled back to look at her.

Emma opened her eyes, her green eyes searching his for an answer she wasn't sure she wanted to find. "I..." She let out a shaky breath. "I...don't..." She shook her head and looked down.

"You can't, can you?"

"Don't make me, Killian," she practically whimpered.

Killian's arms were around her the next instant, cradling her head in his warm hand. "No, love. I won't make you do anything you don't want to do. Just tell me what you want."

Emma pulled herself together enough to pull back and look at him. "Tonight...I want you."

Killian swallowed. "And after that?"

"Please," she whispered, her hands reaching up to rest against his chest. She could feel his heart beating. "Please just..." She trailed off, not sure what more to say.

But Killian, knowing her as well as he did, didn't need her to finish. Instead, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers in an unsure kiss that Emma was quick to escalate. Before she knew it, their mouths were attacking one another's with that same passion that had been there since day one.

"Emma," he gasped when they broke away for air.

Her hands immediately went to the button of his pants, pulling at the zipper to free him of the piece of clothing. Killian caught up quickly, his hands moving to her pants and undoing them quickly. It was in a tangle of kisses that they managed to undress their lower halves before Emma was on her back on his couch, him cradled between her thighs. She felt his cock rub against the slickness dripping from her core as he continued kissing her, his mouth practically matching the motion of his hips.

"God, Emma," he breathed, pulling away to look down at her. The adoration she saw there shocked her, but he didn't give her much time to think about it as he slowly, inch by inch, slipped inside her.

He began an agonizingly slow pace, his hips rolling in a circular motion that had her moaning his name within minutes.

"When I'm inside you," he whispered, "when I feel you wrapped around me, I never want to stop."

She gasped at his confession, her own hips undulating under his for added friction. "Don't stop," she gasped. "Fuck, Killian, don't stop!"

He picked up the pace, hitting her harder and deeper than he ever has before. Her climax creeped up on her and took her by surprise. She'd never come from just intercourse before, ever.

"Oh—oh—oh, Killian!" Her voice ended on a strangled cry until all she could feel was pure pleasure as she had the most intense orgasm of her life.

"I don't want to come," he moaned as his hips continued moving against hers. "I don't want this to be over."

"Killian," she moaned, threading her hand through his hair. "Please come for me. Please."

And as if he couldn't resist her request, his hips stuttered and a moment later he emptied himself inside her with a gruff groan and a whimper of her name.

They lay there together for a few minutes, catching their breaths. After a while, Killian pulled out of her, both of them wincing at the loss of contact. He gazed down at her then, his eyes holding that same intensity they had held before as he stroked her hair and cradled her face in his warm palm.

Emma bit her lip. "It's always so incredible with you," she whispered in awe.

"I know," he said, and it didn't sound arrogant or cocky. She could tell he felt the same way about her and it scared the hell out of her.

She needed to get out of there.

"Killian..."

"Don't."

"I just..."

"I know what you're going to say, Emma. And I'm asking you, I'm fucking begging you. Don't."

She shook her head, tears stinging her eyes. "I can't do this. You know I can't."

"Bloody hell, Emma, I said don't!" He pushed off of her, standing up and reaching for his pants. Once they were on, he turned to face her. "I can see it in your eyes. I can see you shutting down on me. I thought..I thought maybe...you might feel as I do." He shook his head and cut her off when she opened her mouth to speak. "What are you so bloody afraid of?"

Emma suddenly felt completely bare and it had nothing to do with her lack of clothing. She quickly scrambled off the couch, grabbing her clothes and throwing them on with haste.

"I can't do this," she found herself saying again. "This was just supposed to be sex...it was never meant to...to mean anything."

"My apologies, lass, but I don't recall signing up for that," he responded, his tone biting.

Once she had all her clothes back on, she turned to him. "Well it's you're own damn fault for assuming this was something more! This was just sex, Killian! I wanted something and you gave it to me and I don't know how to thank you for that...I just—"

"So that's all I bloody am to you?" he demanded angrily. "Just a warm body to satisfy your physical needs? Just a fuck buddy you come to because no one else can give it to you the way you want?"

Emma was shaking her head frantically. "Of course not! I care about you, that's why I'm ending this before either of us gets hurt!"

"Too late for that, Swan. You've fucked me, in more ways than one."

A tense silence filled the room as they stared at one another, both breathing heavily, both lost in their own anger and frustration. After a moment, Killian looked away.

"Get out," he said.

"What?"

"I said get out!" He turned to her then, pointing towards the front door. "You said this is over, so get out! We're done!" He took a shaky breath before adding quietly, "I'm done with you, just as you are with me."

Emma looked at him, her lips trembling as she held back tears. She should have said something, anything. She should have stayed. But she didn't. She turned around and she left.


	3. Chapter 3

She didn't see him for almost two weeks after she'd fled from his apartment and he had only called her twice before giving up. Part of her appreciated the space he was giving her, but the other part of her was crumbling, missing him—missing his touch, his smell, everything about him.

He'd skipped the last couple of outings with everyone, but Emma expected that. No one was suspicious of his absence and she managed to play it cool. But inside, she was slowly dying.

She was afraid. Afraid of how he made her feel. Afraid of what he made her want—more than just the amazing sex. She wanted him and that terrified her. So she did what she always did when things were too much for her. She ran. The only problem was she'd never felt this pull before when she left a lover. It was like half of her was left behind with him and she knew what that meant, she wasn't an idiot.

She'd gone and fallen in love with him.

God, she was an idiot.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

"Are you alright, Em?"

Emma snapped to attention, tearing her eyes away from the coffee in front of her and meeting Ruby's worried gaze. "Yeah," she said. "I'm fine. Why?"

"You're just really quiet," her friend told her. "And you've barely touched your coffee."

Emma took a sip just for show and raised her eyebrows at Ruby.

Ruby cracked a smile. "So, Mary-Margaret's birthday is this weekend. She said she just wanted to have a small get together at the condo. I tried talking her into going out, but she's set on her plans so..." She shrugged, taking a drink of her latte. "But I'm excited to bring Victor. Oh! And did you hear about Killian?"

Emma's attention was snagged. "No. What about him?" she asked as casually as she could.

"He asked Mary-Margaret if he could bring Milah. Do you think he likes her?"

Emma's heart dropped and she felt a flair of jealousy. And anger. How dare he ask Milah out when he and Emma had just been together?

It's not your business. You left.

The voice in her head, no matter how correct, annoyed her.

"That's good," Emma finally managed, the words tasting like dirt coming out of her mouth. "I'm glad he's interested in someone."

Ruby ducked her head to meet Emma's eyes. "Are you sure you're okay, Emma? Talk to me."

"I'm fine," she smiled tightly. "So, what did you get Mary-Margaret?"

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Emma dreaded Mary-Margaret's birthday all week, she could barely concentrate at work. She couldn't stop thinking about seeing Killian for the first time since things had ended so badly between them. What's worse was she'd have to see him with her. Just the thought of him touching another woman, putting his hand on her waist, around her shoulder, made Emma nauseous. She mentally kicked herself for her inability to just be a normal human and accept her feelings for him.

But then, what would that mean for their friendship? If they did try and it didn't work out, what would happen? She'd already lost so many people in her life—people she had counted on who let her down—she couldn't bear to lose Killian. She couldn't handle it if he let her down too.

But he never has.

Shaking off her incessant thinking, Emma walked to her closet and took her red dress off the hanger and slipped it on over her matching black lace bra and panties. The sleeveless dress hugged her curves and went to just above her knees. She debated shoes, finally settling on a pair of black ankle boots with a small heel. She got a text from Ruby twenty minutes later that she and Victor were downstairs waiting in the cab. Fluffing her hair one last time, Emma grabbed the small gift-wrapped box containing Mary-Margaret's present and headed down.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Emma was quiet for most of the ride, barely managing to converse with Ruby. But thankfully she was distracted enough by Victor that she didn't notice her friend's sour mood. It didn't get any better once they pulled up to David and Mary-Margaret's condo. In fact, by then the butterflies in her stomach had become so active she thought for a moment she might actually throw up. But she managed to reign in her anxiety and followed Ruby and Victor inside.

The condo was spacious, with an open living room space perfect for parties. There was a good amount of people already there, most of whom Emma recognized, others who were work friends of either Mary-Margaret or David. After greeting the birthday girl and giving her the small gift, Emma grabbed a drink and started chatting with Belle, one of the other teachers at Mary-Margaret's school.

But Emma was undoubtedly distracted, her gaze shifting around the room searching for him. She had to wait an excruciating hour before she finally heard his accented voice greeting the birthday girl and it made her shiver. As inconspicuously as she could, Emma looked over her shoulder just in time to see Killian hugging David hello, Milah smiling behind him. Emma knew the anger she felt towards the other woman was irrational, but she couldn't help it.

Her heart stopped a moment later when Killian glanced over David's shoulder, his eyes locking with hers across the room. Emma managed a small smile at him, but he simply shifted his gaze back to David without any reaction. It hurt her feelings and Emma quickly looked away, smiling politely at Belle as they continued talking.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

He didn't approach her the entire night, glued to Milah's side as they chatted with friends. Emma tried not to stare, but she found her gaze shifting to him more often than she cared to admit. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to know that they were okay, that they hadn't screwed up their relationship beyond repair—or more accurately, that she hadn't screwed their relationship up beyond repair.

Emma saw her opportunity when Killian headed down the wide hallway leading to the bathrooms. She quietly excused herself from the small conversation she was having with Belle and Mary-Margaret and headed down the way Killian had gone.

She waited outside the bathroom, feeling like a complete loser as she waited for him to exit, her heart hammering in her chest. Finally, she heard the door click and a second later it opened. Killian was looking down as he stepped out, flicking the bathroom light off. When he noticed someone standing across from him, his head snapped up, blue eyes locking with hers as he stopped just outside the doorway. She noticed his jaw clench as he looked away.

"Swan," he said, his tone clipped and unfeeling.

"Hey," she said, sounding unsure even to her own ears. "Can we talk?"

Killian slipped his hands into his trouser pockets and shrugged, still not meeting her eyes. That was when she finally took in his attire—black slacks and a black button down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It was fitted to his body and she couldn't help the stutter in her breath as she once again appraised his handsomeness.

"I just wanted to make sure we were okay," she finally said quietly. "It's been a while."

"I've been busy." He finally looked up at her, smiling sarcastically. "Does this conversation have a point, Swan? I have a date waiting for me."

If someone had punched her in the gut, it would have caused less pain than his words. Was he trying to hurt her feelings on purpose?

"Yeah, I saw," she responded. "You didn't answer my question, though. Are we okay?"

Killian sighed. "I'm not sure what you mean by that. If you mean will I not tell our friends about our momentary indiscretion then rest easy, Swan. Your dirty secret is safe with me." He spat the words with such distaste it made her flinch.

Emma shook her head. "That's not what I meant."

He took a step forward, his voice low when he spoke. "Then what is it you meant exactly? Please, enlighten me."

"Why are you being like this?"

Killian simply shrugged. "I'm simply trying to enjoy myself on my friend's birthday. You're the one who cornered me. I really have nothing to say to you."

"So that's it?" she laughed darkly. "I don't mean anything to you if I'm not fucking you?"

"Don't twist my words, Swan," he practically growled.

"I thought above all else we were at least friends, Killian. I told you this would happen. I told you things between us would change and you didn't listen."

"Don't blame this all on me. You were just as much a willing participant, quite a wanton one if I recall."

"You're disgusting."

"Yet you still fucked me."

Emma's mouth fell open, tears stinging her eyes as she gazed at his taunting smirk. This wasn't Killian. This man, she didn't recognize.

Emma nodded, looking down and sniffling back her tears. She would not let him see her cry. "Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your night," she said, lifting her head but looking anywhere but at him. "I'll see you later." And without looking back, Emma turned and walked away from him. Again.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

She managed to sneak out onto the balcony that was deserted, sitting on a patio chair and staring out at the view of the city before her. She tortured herself, relaying the conversation she had just had with Killian. There was a coldness in him she had never seen directed at her before and she wondered if they would ever come back from this. Everything she had been terrified would happen had. And there was no one to blame but herself.

After gathering herself for a bit, Emma rejoined the party, managing to avoid Killian the rest of the night. She saw him once more as people began filtering out. She kissed Mary-Margaret and David goodbye before bidding farewell to a few others.

It was a lonely cab ride home. An even lonelier night in her bed as she lay awake, staring up at the cieling, thinking about him. How he probably went home with Milah. How he was probably in bed with her right now trying to forget about the stupid blonde who'd completely wrecked everything for them. And for the first time in a long time, Emma allowed herself to cry. Harsh sobs racked her body as she buried her face into her pillow, the pain and heartbreak she had been feeling the last couple of weeks finally drowning her in sorrow as she wept and wept and wept, until sleep and darkness claimed her at last.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Emma woke to a text from Killian the next morning. She quickly recovered from her surprise to open it.

**I just wanted to apologize for my behavior last night. I was rude and out of line and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that.**

Emma swallowed the growing lump in her throat before typing a quick response.

 **Sure I did** , she wrote petulantly. **You could have been harsher. I'm an asshole, a bitch. Don't hold back now Jones. Tell me how you really feel.**

Before she could second guess herself, she pressed send. She could practically see him sighing in exasperation and frustration when he received her immature rant. A moment later, her phone began ringing, his name flashing on the screen. Her thumb hovered over the button for a second before she finally pressed it and held the device to her ear.

When she didn't say anything in greeting, she heard him sigh. "Swan," he said softly, his tone such a contrast to how he'd been the previous night. He sounded more like her Killian. "I don't expect you to accept my apology. I just thought I'd let you know I didn't mean what I said last night."

"Then why did you say it?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"I was angry...and that doesn't excuse the way I spoke to you."

She could hear the sincerity in his tone and after a moment, she nodded to herself. "Forget about it. I'm sorry for my part, too."

He sighed again. "Emma—"

"Don't," she pleaded softly. "Just..."

They were both silent for a few minutes before she finally cleared her throat, managing to hold back her tears enough to say, "I have to go. I'll talk to you later." She hung up on his quiet protest, clutching the phone to her chest as she squeezed her eyes shut and allowed the remainder of her tears to fall.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

It took her a day to realize life without Killian sucked.

It took her two days to realize their friendship was probably destroyed beyond repair.

On day three, she was nothing more than a zombie, looking at case file after case file in her office, not really retaining any information, her mind too focused on thoughts of him.

By day four it physically hurt and she didn't think that was possible. It was like she could actually feel her heart breaking.

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

On day five, she managed to go out for dinner with Ruby and Mary-Margaret. They noticed her melancholy disposition and she knew she couldn't hide it from them anymore. She needed to talk to someone about this. She couldn't keep it inside anymore. It was destroying her.

So she let out a deep breath and told them everything. How it had started out as teasing at first. How they flirted and bantered like usual until something shifted and then it wasn't a game anymore. It was real.

She told them how it had just been about sex at first, how she hadn't noticed her feelings shifting to something more until it was too late and threatened to suffocate her. And when it became too much, when she could sense him feeling the same for her, she fled.

When she finished speaking, she took a large pull from her beer before meeting her friends' stunned expressions.

"Wow," Ruby finally said.

Emma nodded, a tear spilling down her cheek before she even realized her eyes had begun to water. She quickly wiped it away and looked at her friends.

"What do I do?" she asked weakly. "Everything is so screwed up. I've lost my best friend."

"Oh, Emma," Mary-Margaret said sympathetically, reaching across the table to grab Emma's hand.

"I just...I'm surprised, but also not," Ruby said. "There was always something there."

Emma sniffled and looked down at the table. "And now it's all fucked up."

"Emma," Mary-Margaret said softly. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

She didn't even have to think about it. She'd accepted it days ago, maybe even weeks ago. She only nodded in response.

"Then you need to go after him," Ruby said. "Emma, that man is crazy about you."

Emma furrowed her eyebrows and looked up at her. "How do you know that? You didn't even know about us."

"Please, we see the way he looks at you. He watches out for you like you're precious. His entire face lights up when he sees you. And from what you've just told us, he feels the same for you that you do for him. Isn't it worth taking a chance?"

Emma shook her head. "I don't want to hurt him. And I don't want him to hurt me. I couldn't bear it if we did try and..."

"And what, Emma?" Ruby pressed. "You're in pain right now not being with him. And I know it's scary, I know. But I think you aren't giving this a fair chance. It could be something amazing."

"It already was," she murmured.

"Then do something," Mary-Margaret said. "Just talk to him. Be honest."

"I'm scared," she said shakily, meeting her friends' worried gazes.

"Love is scary," Mary-Margaret said. "But, Emma, when it's the right person, it's worth it."

"I don't even know what to say to him," she said. "Besides, he's with Milah." Emma said her name with more disdain than she meant.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Please. I hung out with them the other night at the party. There's nothing there. Trust me."

"How do you know?" Emma asked, a tinge of hope in her voice.

"How do I know? Because there's only one woman I've seen that can make that man forget about everyone else in the room."

"And that's you," Mary-Margaret added gently.

"And if he doesn't want me anymore? If he's changed his mind and realized it's too much trouble?"

"Then we'll kick his ass!" Ruby said.

Mary-Margaret shook her head with a wry smile. "Then we will be here for you. Always. Take that chance, Emma. What do you have to lose?"

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Mary-Margaret called David when they finished their dinner, confirming that Killian was out with him and Robin at a bar downtown.

"Okay," Mary-Margaret smiled into the phone. "Mind if we crash?"

Emma watched her friend giggle at whatever David's response was before she ended the call, telling Emma they were going.

"What?" Emma practically shrieked. "I'm not doing this in a public place!"

"Do you really want to wait, Em?" Ruby asked incredulously.

"No, I just..."

"Great!" Ruby clapped her hands once. "Let's go."

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

Emma stood outside the bar with her friends, staring up at the building that seemed to loom over her mockingly. Several times she told them she couldn't do it, but somehow they calmed her down enough that she finally agreed that they could tell Killian to meet her outside.

It was probably only ten minutes, but it felt like hours before she saw Killian exit the bar. Standing on the sidewalk in his tight black jeans and leather jacket, he glanced left and right for her. She stepped out of the shadows and approached him hesitantly.

"Hey," she said.

He turned to her then, his eyes meeting hers and making her breath hitch in her throat at the intensity in his expression.

"Swan," he breathed, as if in relief.

"I...I just wanted to..."

"I'm sorry for the other night," he interrupted her, stepping closer. "The things I said to you..." He shook his head. "I wish I could take them back."

"You've never spoken to me that way before," she said quietly.

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"Killian, I forgive you," she said, shaking her head and looking down, unable to hold his piercing gaze. "I'm sorry. For everything. I've been an idiot. I've spent the last few weeks realizing a few things about myself."

"What's that?" he asked quietly.

Emma steeled herself and finally looked up at him again. "Well, that I'm an idiot, for one."

Killian chuckled softly and took another step forward, almost invading her space but not quite.

"And that...I was afraid," she continued.

"Afraid of me?" he asked, sounding hurt.

"Of how you made me feel. Of how you made me want things I'd never wanted before. And afraid that you'd let me down like everybody else. I couldn't bear it if I lost you, Killian. I just couldn't."

"Swan, you'd never lose me," he said, taking the final step forward and raising his hand to cup her cheek. "Those things I said, they were because I was angry and upset."

Emma shook her head. "Stop. There's one more thing I realized."

"What?"

This time, she held his gaze and didn't let go. "I realized that I'm completely in love with my best friend. And I can't lose him." Her voice broke on the last words as she watched his expression go from worried to shock in an instant.

"Emma," he whispered, raising his other hand to cup her face completely. "Love, please don't say something you don't mean."

"I mean it, Killian, I lo—" But before she could finish, Killian's mouth was crashing on hers, his arms winding around her waist and pulling her flush against him as their lips molded together over and over again. Finally, after weeks of being away him, she felt herself coming home.

The kiss didn't last nearly as long as she wanted it to and she chased his lips as he pulled away to look at her.

"God, Emma, I've been in love with you for so bloody long."

Emma shook her head, tears once again springing to her eyes, this time for a different reason. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship. I knew I couldn't be that selfish," he said. "But when I thought you could feel the same, I had to take a chance or I'd never forgive myself." He shook his head. "And then when I thought you didn't feel the same as I did...I couldn't handle it. That's why I treated you the way I did the other night. Emma, I'm so sorry."

"Please stop apologizing and kiss me."

He obliged quickly, molding their mouths together once more. They made out on the sidewalk for what seemed like forever, uncaring of any passerby. When one man yelled for them to 'get a room!,' they finally broke away with a quiet laugh.

"Perhaps we should," he whispered, stroking the apple of her cheek with his thumb.

Emma smiled, leaning into his touch. "Can we?"

"Of course, love."

O—O—O—O—O—O—O

They practically stumbled into his apartment, a tangle of lips and limbs as Killian shut the door with his foot, pressing her against the wall, his mouth breaking away from hers only to trail wet kisses down her jaw and throat.

She didn't want to ruin the moment, but there was something she was burning to ask.

"Killian, wait," she gasped, pushing him away slightly.

"Jesus, love, you're killing me." He pulled back, chest rising and falling with his breaths as he grasped her hips tighter and pulled her closer.

Emma bit her lip. "I hate to ask this, but I have to know...Is there something going on between you and Milah?"

Killian seemed taken aback by her question, as if he wasn't expecting to ever hear that come out of her mouth.

"Emma...Emma, no." He reached up, cradling her head in his hand. "Never, love, no."

"Then why..."

He shook his head at himself. "I was being a bastard. I wanted to..."

"Make me jealous?" she smirked with a quirk of her eyebrow.

He looked at her guiltily. "It was never a date, for either of us. I brought her as a friend. But yes...I was hoping to get a reaction from you. But, Emma, nothing happened. I only want you."

"I believe you."

"Do you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow of his own.

"I guess when you love someone, you trust them no matter what," she shrugged with a small smile.

Killian's wide smile almost blinded her before he dove back in and reclaimed her mouth once again. His hands were on her thighs a moment later, lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist and carrying her to his bedroom.

This felt so different than all the times before. It felt even more electric between them and she didn't think that was possible. But knowing he loved her, it made his touch that much more igniting.

When he covered her body with his on the bed, she didn't want to let him go, wrapping her arms around his back and holding him close as their tongues and lips devoured one another. Clothes were pulled and practically ripped as they hastily stripped each other until they were finally bare.

Emma rolled them over, straddling his thighs and sitting up, bracing her hands on his chest as she lifted her hips. He groaned when she grasped his length and gently glided the tip of him along her entrance, coating him with her wetness before slowly sliding onto him.

When he was buried inside her to the hilt, he pulled her down so her breasts were flush against his chest, his chest hair tickling her nipples as he lifted his hips up then down, oh so slowly as he entered and retreated, making her moan in response as he watched her, never taking his eyes off her as he continued thrusting into her languidly.

"Killian," she gasped before catching his lips in a sensual kiss, matching the movement of their lower bodies.

They made love that way for a long time, hips moving with no sense of urgency, lips melting together over and over again as he continued lifting her higher and higher until she finally fell, her walls clenching around him as she whined and moaned, burying her head in his neck as her release took over her entire being.

One of his hands trailed down to her ass as his other continued cradling the back of her head, his quiet moans in her ear as she continued lifting her hips up and down to meet his thrusts until finally, finally, he let out the sexiest groan she'd ever heard as his hips picked up speed slightly before he spilled himself inside of her, coating her walls in his warm release.

They lay there against one another, both panting, sharing slow kisses as they caught their breaths, neither of them ready to separate just yet. And a moment later, when she felt him hardening again, she met his small smirk with one of her own as she wiggled her hips slightly.

"Again?" he whispered, and she remembered him uttering that exact word their first night together. It warmed her heart.

She smiled down at him and bit her lip, nodding. "Again."


End file.
